Author Archives: TBogg

Now Playing For The Bargain Bin Blues…

Posted by on May 20, 2013 Comments Off

Attentive reader Sean D. sends us news from afar about how afar Juicebox Jesus has a’fallen

You’ll notice that the $3.58 clearance sticker is the third in a series of markdowns. In many ways, this reflects what the Jets went through on draft day when they tried to unload Timmy and found no takers.

I should note that Sean said the Drew Brees action figure was still at full price almost five months after the season ended. I should also note that the L&T Casey said that, when Target ends a price on a clearance item with an ’8″, that means that it is subject to further markdowns.

So, Canadian dollars?

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Asian Driver, No Survivor: An Inquiry

Posted by on May 20, 2013 Comments Off

A quads worth of Harvard students, whose parents paid top dollar to hush up youthful “indiscretions” so that they could get into a Good School guaranteeing them a legitimate shot at becoming either a Supreme Court Justice, President of The United States, or an editor at Breitbart.com, are plenty pissed because their school is giving out advanced degrees like they were those breath mints in the bowl at the hostess station. And not the good Andes ones. In this case it would be the doctoral thesis written by Fantastic Sam’s “Before” model Jason Richwine entitled “Messicans is Teh Dumbz LOL, or: Why Juanny Can’t Read“:

Over 1,000 Harvard students delivered a petition to Harvard University’s JFK School on Saturday, demanding an investigation into how and why the school approved a 2009 doctoral thesis arguing that Hispanics have lower IQs. The thesis was written by Jason Richwine, a co-author of a paper by the conservative Heritage Foundation that argued immigration reform would cost taxpayers $6.3 trillion. The discovery of Richwine’s paper by the Washington Post sparked a firestorm around the Heritage study, and several days later Richwine resigned from the think tank.

Now Harvard students want to know how a thesis built on those views and assumptions was able to make it through the approval process in the first place. “Academic freedom and a reasoned debate are essential to our academic community,’’ the petition read. “However, the Harvard Kennedy School cannot ethically stand behind academic work advocating a national policy of exclusion and advancing an agenda of discrimination.”

Several days ago, 24 student groups at Harvard wrote a letter condeming the university’s approval of Richwine’s dissertation, saying it “debases” all their degrees.

Now all of the other schools are laughing at Harvard except for Goucher because they gave a degree to Jonah Goldberg who wrote this and they don’t want to talk about it so shut up and, besides, your kid goes to Art Institute so neener neener…

(Disclaimer: I am not Mexican, did not go to Harvard, and have never had my hair cut at Fantastic Sams, so I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post about this)

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Accidentally Like A Martyr

Posted by on May 18, 2013 Comments Off

Don’t tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it’s me and not you
Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade   -Merrill/Styne

As part of my continuing series on “why we can’t have nice things”…

I have previously expressed my, well, let’s call it “displeasure” with the so-called “progressive wing” of whatever this side of ours is called these days over message discipline. As pointed out here,  a Very Good Thing Called Occupy withered away  in part because the message became muddled when various groups with a motley assortment of agendas and obsessions latched onto the Occupy movement like grievance lampreys in a feeding frenzy. Thus a message about social and income inequality in America creaked and groaned to a stop in no small part because of the baggage of PETA, Code Pink, veganism, anti-GMO food, Free Tibet, the death penalty, gender rights, torture, and whatever  flavor of the month happened to show up with a tent and a cook-pot. Also, the drum circles. Fuck those guys.

Not that these agendas weren’t worthy of discussion (PETA excepted because they’re lunatics) but, what should have been a single simple understandable message got lost in a Babel of voices, each crying out for attention. But this is what happens when factions whose feel their own agenda isn’t getting the attention it deserves ( in some cases for a good reason) crashes someone else’s party believing that the crowd validates their beliefs. In such circumstances, entropy is born.

Which brings us to the San Francisco Pride Parade and Bradley Manning:

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Escape From Planet Blog Gitmo

Posted by on May 15, 2013 Comments Off

As you may have noticed over the past few days this blog, as part of the FDL mothership, was being held internet-incommunicado because technology sucks. As a result, we were not able to hold President NObama accountable for all of his 2.6 million federal employees and now America is doomed and the Canadians will probably invade us because those wiley folks from America’s hat can smell weakness like it was a skunky beer.

I welcome our Beiber-spawning overlords.

The good news is that, while we were out of the loop, the only people who matter (the High Dudgeon High Broderites who do not like people who don’t know their place and just show up unannounced and “trash the place“) are banding together to (finally!)  fight the Kenyan interloper, as reported by the Lord Varys of the Beltway, Vandeallenhei:

Republicans have waited five years for the moment to put the screws to Obama — and they have one-third of all congressional committees on the case now. Establishment Democrats, never big fans of this president to begin with, are starting to speak out. And reporters are tripping over themselves to condemn lies, bullying and shadiness in the Obama administration.

Buy-in from all three D.C. stakeholders is an essential ingredient for a good old-fashioned Washington pile-on — so get ready for bad stories and public scolding to pile up.

They are the stakeholders of DC, and thus the world, and you’re just living there and cluttering up the place.

Obama’s aloof mien and holier-than-thou rhetoric have left him with little reservoir of good will, even among Democrats. And the press, after years of being accused of being soft on Obama while being berated by West Wing aides on matters big and small, now has every incentive to be as ruthless as can be.

This White House’s instinctive petulance, arrogance and defensiveness have all worked to isolate Obama at a time when he most needs a support system.

Translation: Obama wears earth tones. Impeach.

Republican outrage is predictable, maybe even manageable. Democratic outrage is not.

The dam of solid Democratic solidarity has collapsed, starting with….

Wait for it. Here it comes. This is going to be devastating….

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd’s weekend scolding of the White House over Benghazi, then gushing with the news the Justice Department had sucked up an absurdly broad swath of Associated Press phone records.

Because, if you’ve lost Maureen Dowd, you’ve lost Peggy Noonan without the alcoholism and the Reagan-leg humping.

And now we get to watch the “stakeholders” whip up the-scandals-that-aren’t into a frothy brew that is all filler and no killer because of such things, reputations are made.

Dear Canadians: Please take us. Now.

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Meet The New Paultard, Same As The Old Paultard

Posted by on May 11, 2013 Comments Off

Future Hillary slayer and past Dave Sirota one-night-stand, Rand Paul makes a perfectly reasonable pitch for money, and by “perfectly reasonable” we mean that, if you think Alex Jones is actually a squishy Conspiracy Nut In Name Only, then Rand Is Your Man(d):

Dear fellow Patriot,

Gun-grabbers around the globe believe they have it made.

You see, only hours after re-election, Barack Obama immediately made a move for gun control…

On November 7th, his administration gleefully voted at the UN for a renewed effort to pass the “Small Arms Treaty.”

But after the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut — and anti-gun hysteria in the national media reaching a fever pitch — there’s no doubt President Obama and his anti-gun pals believe the timing has never been better to ram through the U.N.’s global gun control crown jewel.

I don’t know about you, but watching anti-American globalists plot against our Constitution makes me sick.

This Spring, the United Nations went back into session to finalize their radical so-called “Small Arms Treaty.”

With the treaty finalized, a full U.S. Senate ratification showdown could come any time President Obama chooses and there will be very little time to fight back.

If we’re to succeed, we must fight back now.

That’s why I’m helping lead the fight to defeat the UN “Small Arms Treaty” in the United States Senate.

And it’s why I need your help today.

Will you join me by taking a public stand against the UN “Small Arms Treaty” and sign the Official Firearms Sovereignty Survey right away?

Ultimately, UN bureaucrats will stop at nothing to register, ban and CONFISCATE firearms owned by private citizens like YOU.

To be honest, I wasn’t sold until that all-caps ‘YOU’ at which point it became personal for me.

You want some more of this truth-telling? CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Of course you can:

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The 501(c)3 Grift That Keeps On Grifting

Posted by on May 10, 2013 Comments Off

The IRS was taking a good hard look at some of our finer Hoverround-Gadsden Flag ‘Muricans:

The Internal Revenue Service inappropriately flagged conservative political groups for additional reviews during the 2012 election to see if they were violating their tax-exempt status, a top IRS official said Friday.

Organizations were singled out because they included the words “tea party” or “patriot” in their applications for tax-exempt status, said Lois Lerner, who heads the IRS division that oversees tax-exempt groups.

In some cases, groups were asked for their list of donors, which violates IRS policy in most cases, she said.

“That was wrong. That was absolutely incorrect, it was insensitive and it was inappropriate. That’s not how we go about selecting cases for further review,” Lerner said at a conference sponsored by the American Bar Association.

“The IRS would like to apologize for that,” she added.

For the life of me I can’t imagine why the IRS would pay special attention to groups comprised of common-sense moms with no non-profit experience and various other grifters who know an easy mark when they see one, particularly when the whole basis of the Tea Party is to get out of paying taxes for fear that those tax dollars might be spent on Poors and Blahs and Youngs.

Next thing you know, the ATF will start throwing shade at rural sovereign man-forts….

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The 501(c)3 Grift That Keeps On Grifting

Posted by on May 10, 2013 Comments Off

The IRS was taking a good hard look at some of our finer Hoverround-Gadsden Flag ‘Muricans:

The Internal Revenue Service inappropriately flagged conservative political groups for additional reviews during the 2012 election to see if they were violating their tax-exempt status, a top IRS official said Friday.

Organizations were singled out because they included the words “tea party” or “patriot” in their applications for tax-exempt status, said Lois Lerner, who heads the IRS division that oversees tax-exempt groups.

In some cases, groups were asked for their list of donors, which violates IRS policy in most cases, she said.

“That was wrong. That was absolutely incorrect, it was insensitive and it was inappropriate. That’s not how we go about selecting cases for further review,” Lerner said at a conference sponsored by the American Bar Association.

“The IRS would like to apologize for that,” she added.

For the life of me I can’t imagine why the IRS would pay special attention to groups comprised of common-sense moms with no non-profit experience and various other grifters who know an easy mark when they see one, particularly when the whole basis of the Tea Party is to get out of paying taxes for fear that those tax dollars might be spent on Poors and Blahs and Youngs.

Next thing you know, the ATF will start throwing shade at rural sovereign man-forts….

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The New Scott Brown Will Not Destroy His House If You Give Him Money

Posted by on May 9, 2013 Comments Off

Gabriel Gomez, who is the Republican nominee for the Senate in Massachusetts and is also an actual brown Scott Brown, has a very lovely house in Cohasset which he could have totally screwed-up with a ginormous mural of ghost Ronald Reagan dressed as Uncle Sam strangling Mother Communist Russia but he didn’t because the government gave him some sweet house hostage money:

Republican US Senate nominee Gabriel E. Gomez claimed a $281,500 income tax deduction in 2005 for pledging not to make any visible changes to the facade of his 112-year-old Cohasset home, a concession so valuable that it is classified as a charitable contribution under a federal law designed to protect historic homes.

That is a large amount of dollars, you may be saying to yourself from your sixth-floor walk-up utility closet/efficiency apartment. In child deduction dollars $281K would be equivalent to approximately 74 Duggars (get’er done, JimBob) but you can’t put a price on neighborhood comity, can you?

Except when you don’t have to:

But Gomez and his wife, Sarah, were already barred from making any changes to the exterior of their home under the bylaws of the local Historical Commission, raising the question as to whether their donation — the price of which is based on the loss of value in their real estate — had any monetary worth.

The Gomezes, whose 59 Highland Ave. home is located within the Cohasset Common Historic District, gave the historical easement to the National Architectural Trust, a Washington-based organization whose marketing of tax-deductible easements to homeowners has been targeted by the US Department of Justice.

Five weeks after the Gomezes claimed the deduction, the Internal Revenue Service listed programs such as this — that involve the “contribution of a historic facade easement to a tax-exempt conservation organization” — as one of its “Dirty Dozen tax scams.”

On a scandal scale of one to ten, with one being “Watergate” and ten being “Benghazi!” this is probably a six, meaning it is slightly less than a Presidential blowjob and slightly more than selling armaments to Iran and then using the money to fund South American death squads, so please adjust your outrage settings accordingly.

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Adorable Muffinhead Explains Politics & Football To You

Posted by on May 9, 2013 Comments Off

Good take:

Well, yeah, I think this goes without saying….

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Pink Mail

Posted by on May 6, 2013 Comments Off

When we last saw non-profit lamprey Nancy Brinker she was busy overseeing the destruction of the well-oiled Pink Machine of Fraud that she created known as the Susan G.Komen Foundation. Well, Komen hasn’t bounced back from that fiasco, but that doesn’t mean that Brinker  couldn’t divert a few more dollars that could have gone to breast cancer research to her over-stuffed pink Kate Spade wallet:

Turns out that in 2011, it spent just 15 percent of its donations on research — nearly half of what it did just a few years prior. And, significantly, its founder, Nancy Brinker, the woman whose vow to the sister she lost to cancer has served as the organization’s poignant, relatable narrative, stepped down as its CEO. In August, Brinker announced she was taking on a new role, as chairwoman of the executive committee. (She is, however, still listed as its CEO and founder on the Komen site. Komen says it’s still looking for her replacement.) In short, the whole series of fiascoes was so appalling that Deanna Zandt, author of “Share This! How You Will Change the World With Social Networking,” called the Komen fiasco a teachable “example of what not to do.”

Yet after more than a year of bad publicity and declining participation, Brinker herself seems to be doing just fine. As Cheryl Hall pointed out this weekend in the Dallas Morning News, Brinker made “$684,717 in fiscal 2012, a 64 percent jump from her $417,000 salary from April 2010 to March 2011.” That’s a whole lot of green for all that pink. Hall notes that’s about twice what the organization’s chief financial officer, Mark Nadolny, or former president Liz Thompson were making. And as Peggy Orenstein points out on her blog Monday, it’s considerably more than the average nonprofit CEO salary of $132,739. 

The IRS filing states that Brinker devotes 55 hours per week to her “job” which sounds about right because , if you want to screw up an organization as monolithic as Komen, you have to put in the extra time to do it right…

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A Whiter Shade Of Fail

Posted by on May 4, 2013 Comments Off

Shorter Byron York:

The real reason Mitt Romney lost in 2012 was because he wasn’t white enough for Real America.

Johnny/Edgar Winter 2016

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Mitt Romney Urges College Graduates To Have Sexytime “For Realsies”

Posted by on May 3, 2013 Comments Off

First runner-up in last year’s So You Want To Be The President teevee show, Mitt Romney was invited to a small college so obscure that even Sarah Palin didn’t go there  (Which colleges did you attend? All of them, Katie) where he told the soon-to-be unemployed now-adults that they should go out into the world and start fucking like Rush Limbaugh in a Dominican boys orphanage with a pocketful of Viagra.

He wove his speech around a quote from Jesus in the New Testament — “Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets” — which he interpreted to mean that one should live a deep, meaningful life, not a shallow one.

How do you do that? Well, getting married is one way of launching into the deep. I’m so glad I found Ann when I was still so young. … Some people could get married but choose to take more time, they say, for themselves. Others plan to wait until they’re well into their 30s or 40s before they think about getting married. They’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid. …

Now, bringing children into the world is also launching into the deep. I had friends who weren’t sure they were going to have kids. They told me they were going to buy a dog first to see how that went. A dog!

For those not up on today’s hep seduction slang, “launching into the deep” is Mormon Barry White (or Adele) talk for butt sex (we think) which is what good Mormon girls already do because of The Virginity. But now Mitt says they should put away foolish childhood things (coughfreshmanthroughjunioryyearlesbianexperimentationcough) and starting pooping out babies like a Michelle Duggar vagina-shaped Pez dispenser, probably because Mitt has five strapping young boys who need more breeding mates (famous Mormon musical: Seven Brides Apiece For Five Brothers).

So hop on “it” ladies! You didn’t go to that phoney-baloney Mormon college for that Mrs. degree for nothing.

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Tramp Stamps

Posted by on May 2, 2013 Comments Off


Since most of the right wing (and a certain leftyish blog, ahem) spent the day chasing their conspiracy tales  because former Daily Caller editor David “Whore Chat” Martosko’s created a bullshit story about a purloined Saudi letter  (Must Credit Guy Who Makes Shit Up!) nobody got around to making Pigford Mud Pies, and that makes the Dead Baby Breitbart cry.

Afraid that someone might point out that this was the biggest flop since that time Sarah Palin told everybody to pull the fuck over because of Big Gulps or teenaged backseat sex or whatever, someone cracked the whip at Breitbart and everybody was informed that no one was to leave for their night jobs at Arbys until they pooped out some Pigford shit. The results varied somewhere between  “I really just want to write about Skinemax movies, but here goes…” and “Book report that I wrote on the bus this morning on a book I totally didn’t read ” in quality. Particularly delightful was this entry from Breitbart News Editorial Assistant Elena Lathrop who wants to know why NOBODY IS THINKING ABOUT THE CHILDREN! (Aged 21-30):

For today’s American youth–the so-called “Entitlement Generation,” with twisted attitudes towards hard work, success, proper compensation, and the relationship between the three–the Pigford fraud, with its handouts based on little to no evidence of discrimination or even being a farmer, is the last thing that is needed right now.

The Entitlement Generation, generally those currently aged 21 to 31, is criticized for expecting material rewards in the absence of earning them through hard work, feeling entitled to them–hence the cynical nickname. So when $50,000 checks are being handed out by the federal government to those claiming to have farmed or “attempted to farm” without any proof of doing so and without evidence of discrimination in lending practices, what message does this send? Especially to the youth?

We are smitten by her spunky-clunky prose! We also like her use of “the youth”, redolent as it is with hints of  The Iraq. Kudos UCLA! [cont'd.]

And lest you think Elena is only concerned about the Kids of ‘Murica shit-canning their college Women’s Studies or Communism Indoctrination degrees in order to become black sharecroppers, because everyone knows that sharecropping is where the big money is (plus you get to work outside. Sweet!), she is equally worried that The Poors are blowing their Hot Pocket money on non-nutritional postage stamps, which is Socialism or something.

Why do Poors need stamps!:

A reader sends in this photo of a US Postal Service automated kiosk displaying a message that the machine accepts EBT to purchase postage.

Not only is this ironic, but it allows for use of EBT to purchase money orders and send money without the use of a bank. Call it “governmentception”—like a dream within a dream, one government program inside of another.

Before mentioning that state governments use EBT cards for cash-aid benefits and unemployment benefits as well as a replacement  for food stamps as a cost saving measure and because they are a more efficient, I just want to make the much larger pointthat “governmentception” is the new ‘fetch‘. Also, like Alanis Morrisette, Elena does  not seem to understand what “ironic” means. Ironic, right?

Bad job, UCLA!

Nonetheless I look forward to Elena combining her two passions with a Breitbart Exclusive multi-part series about strapping young bucks blowing their T-Bone and Cadillac welfare monies on special edition collector stamp sets. Because once they find out about these babies, they are going to be soooo uppity….

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Pigford Party A Go Go

Posted by on May 1, 2013 Comments Off

Last night George Zimmerman fanboi and dumber than the average bear Matt Boyle (and, seriously, how dumb do you have to be for Dan Riehl to call you dumb? Like .. a lot) invited everyone to his Big Dumb Pigford Party today which is when a bunch of rightwing bloggers get together and complain about how the gubmint is taking tax dollahs from Real Americans and giving them to the uppity nigras to pay for their T-bones, Cadillacs and Hip Hop Barbeques. So, really, it’s like the other 364 days of the year…but with Mylar balloons.

Par-Tay!

So who showed up? Will there be chicks and beer? Endless games of hangman where all the words are racist slurs?  Well, it seems that only Breitbart C-listers Matt and Lee Stranahan and….well, nobody else actually, showed up. How big of a fizzle was this?

Jim Hoft, who is universally known even by people who live in the mountains of Afghanistan without computers or electricity, as the Stupidest and/or Dumbest Man On The Internet, couldn’t get lathered up enough to drop by for pigs-in-a-blanket and pudding cups. If you can’t convince Jim Hoft to get himself all gussied up in a lightweight percale hood and robe ensemble for a night of high tech lynching, you might as well put a black man in the White House and let the world go to tarnation.

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Juicebox Jesus: The Forsakening

Posted by on April 29, 2013 Comments Off

Not even God saw this coming:

One year after bringing Tim Tebow to Broadway, creating a nationwide fascination that slowly evolved into controversy, the New York Jets on Monday made the long-anticipated move of releasing one of the NFL’s most popular players.

The Jets confirmed the release in a three-paragraph news release, a long way from his Super Bowl-sized news conference last March.

“We have a great deal of respect for Tim Tebow,” coach Rex Ryan said. “Unfortunately, things did not work out the way we all had hoped.  Tim is an extremely hard worker, evident by the shape he came back in this offseason. We wish him the best moving forward.”

Ryan and general manager John Idzik informed Tebow early Monday morning in a face-to-face meeting at the team’s facility before he was expected to work out with teammates, a source said. Tebow left the building shortly thereafter.

Also:

Jim Popp, the general manager of the Montreal Alouettes in the CFL, said he’d be interested in Tebow if he failed to land a job in the NFL. But he wouldn’t be handed a starting job.

“If he wants to come to Canada he would be in the same situation as the one he was in with New York,” Popp told TSN. “He can come here and compete to be the backup to Anthony Calvillo and learn the game, just like Jeff Garcia did [behind Doug Flutie]. And one day he might be the guy; that’s our vision. He can learn from the best.”

Except for the the fact that, you know, the game that Tebow brings is not suited to the Canadian game:

Even with the partial swing back towards the ground game this year and the emergence of dual-threat quarterbacks like Russell Wilson, Robert Griffin III and Colin Kaepernick, it’s still hard to see Tebow finding success in the NFL going forward. It’s notable that while Wilson, Griffin and Kaepernick are known for their running abilities, all have substantially higher completion percentages (62.9 per cent, 66.4 per cent and 65.6 per cent respectively) this season than Tebow does for his career. They can both run and pass effectively; Tebow can only do one of these things, and that’s what makes it difficult to see him as a good NFL fit going forward.

If that’s true in the NFL, though, it’s even more true in the CFL. With three downs, a bigger field and expanded motion, the Canadian game is even more passing-focused. Yes, some dual-threat quarterbacks have had success up north, most notably Damon Allen (Warren Moon, sometimes cited as an example there, didn’t actually run very much in the CFL), but Allen was always quite capable in the passing game too.

If nothing else, it was nice of God to make Jason Collins gay today, to draw attention away from Tim Tebow’s shame…

ADDED:

Oh shut the hell up:

With Manti Te’o recently added to the fold, the Chargers would lead the league in virgins.

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